Embrace Your Vulnerabilities: Learn to Lean on Others
Over the recent holiday break, I did something I had needed to do for the past few years. Total knee replacement. My knees are equally done. I had taken on a semi-permanent limp and dealt with daily pain. I wouldn’t talk about it unless someone commented on my abnormal gait. Why? I was fine. Well… I wasn’t fine. Only a few knew I was undergoing this surgery.
I am doing all of my final prep the day before surgery. One last thing to check off my list was to let the family know I don’t want any visitors outside of our immediate family at the hospital or after at home. Why? Because I knew I wasn’t going to be feeling well, and mostly I will be at my worst. Nobody wants to be a part of that. My college-aged daughter, who was home on break, quickly responds with:
“You spend every day seeing people at their most vulnerable and helping them become a better version of themselves. Now it’s your turn.”
She shot it to me straight. Her response was unexpected. But it was just what I needed to hear. She knew it. I knew it. One of our operating principles at Bravium, Talk Straight, was happening right now from my twenty-year-old.
It’s about being honest. Telling the truth. Letting people know where you stand. Using simple language. Calling things what they are. Demonstrating integrity.
As a leader who advocates vulnerability a strength, I am surprised to realize that I have, somehow, bought into the notion that I need to be heroic and that any weakness diminishes my expertise or leadership. Crazy, right? We must face the reality that we are human, with weaknesses, flaws, and faults. Yes, I am human, with weaknesses, flaws, and faults. Daniel Coyle talks about vulnerability and creating a sense of belonging in his book, The Culture Code. He shares vulnerability doesn’t come after trust – it precedes it. Leaping into the unknown, when done alongside others, causes the solid ground of trust to materialize beneath our feet.
In my keynotes on being a braver leader, we talk about habits, new habits we can use to be a bit braver today than yesterday. An act of vulnerability and also a Bravership™ habit is to lean on others.
Lean On Others:
Being Brave is infectious, draw strength from friends and co-workers. Embrace your fears by allowing others to help you. To be able to lean in, you have to lean on. Say “here’s what I need from you right now.”
Reminder to practice just that, leaning on others. Here is the deal. Leadership is about connection. How can we connect if we only reveal parts of ourselves that we think will impress them? We can’t pick and choose. People will go to great lengths to follow, create, risk, partner with you if they feel connected to you.
I spent the next 30 days following surgery saying yes to offers to stop for a quick visit or a meal ready to go or a ride to physical therapy or just a hug when I was having a day filled with pain. And when nobody was offering or asking, I practiced saying asking for help and leaning on my circle to deliver. And they did.
A moment of gratitude:
I am thankful for a new knee.
I am thankful for that moment Moe, my daughter decided to shoot it to me straight.
I am thankful I am still learning and growing as an entrepreneur, leader, wife, and mom.
I am thankful for all of you who showed up and in many ways during my healing and recovery.
I am thankful for YOU for being a part of my journey.
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